The farther you go, The less you know

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This is a guest post from the author of cultfit.wordpress.com.

Random workouts.  Random results.

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Sometimes it’s nice when you wake up and find that something you know has changed…

Atten-HUT! Listen up, you squishy globs of mule excrement!  All of you reading today have been asked here to perform your sacred duty for your country, and I’d sooner give Che Guevara a lap dance than let you pimple-butted pinworms fumble this mission under my watch!  Am I clear?

SIR YES SIR!

Right now, right at this very moment…you are nothing!  You are the rubbish that rubbish throws in the tired old bin!  You are less than a single aromatic molecule in one of Satan’s farts!  Is that understood maggots?

SIR YES SIR!

When I am finished with you, each one of you will be a mindless, deadly human weapon of randomness!  You will be a social miscreant!  You will seize the emotional core of your each and every breath and rip its heart out with your teeth!  You will do this or by God as my witness…I will impale your limp asparagus frame on a spire in the latrine and use you as my personal toilet paper until Gabriel sounds the trumpets!  Comprehend?

SIR YES SIR!

Now get out there and do your duty before I personally polish your empty skulls with the rough side of my…Hold on a second?!?  What is Ricky Oh doing here?!?

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2 Responses to “The farther you go, The less you know”

  1. […] the CultFit litmus test peeps?!?  Yesterday we had the chance to pen a guest post over at His Dark Side.  If you peeps have a few precious seconds you can take away from updating your Facebook […]

  2. […] I was riding, I paid a visit to CultFit, got my daily dose of inspiration here and here, and decided that the folks at CultFit are right — it is rough coming back from a long […]

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