Solitude, Gung Fu, Magick and Self-Knowledge

“….I shunned the face of man,
all sound of joy, or complacency was torture to me;
solitude was my only consolation…”
(Mary Shelley, Frankenstein)

Once again I become a ‘Seeker’. Eliminating all distractions from my life, without exception. It has taken a number of steps, the most accessible of which involved setting my fists free to collide with the heavy bag. I’ve always been self-reliant. Punching things, hard, gives me an enormous sense of well being.

I acknowledge my past and choose not to run from it. When you discover people are untrustworthy at a young age you learn all about self reliance. As a child I reached out to many people, during moments of pain. Their help, if at all, was fleeting. As disappointments grew, disenchantment set in.

A lifetime of disenchantment has resulted in my becoming someone insular, yet not quite emotionally sterile. Instead, I take the steps which allow me to invest in myself, physically and spiritually. Having been exposed to tension growing up in a volatile household, I now shun tension of any kind. Projections of anger and feelings of resentment are merely chanelled into my Gung Fu. It is a way for me to make amends to the younger version of me.

Gung Fu is a saving grace by which I am able to cast away feelings of inadequacy in private and without causing harm to others, except those who have the misfortune of being my training partners.

I am not self righteous and couldn’t give a fuck about the harm a person may be doing to themselves. My life has its own struggles, I need not adopt more. So whether you are wholly meddlesome or merely an annoyance, you won’t get the privilege of my company. The only power I can exercise freely is over my own body and mind. This includes freedom as to whom I choose not to allow into my world. And the world is full of ’nuff waste man!’. My path is mine.

I immerse myself in Gung Fu and Magick. Practicing, reading, writing. Daily. This blog is a testament to that. Despite teaching Gung Fu to a few people, my heart is in my own training and my own development.

I take a step into myself, often finding quiet places for self reflection. Self knowledge is the highest form of knowledge, after all. So I gravitate toward ‘I’, turning my minds-eye inwards for answers. I celebrate the imperfections which make me human. I retreat into silence; meditating. And I keep punching and kicking, with the calming company of my own thoughts.

I am a Seeker.

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One Response to “Solitude, Gung Fu, Magick and Self-Knowledge”

  1. Any harm sustained as one of your training partners is good for us anyway!

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