Bait and Switch – The Offer

“Hey there!  How are you doing?  Listen – the students love you.  I mean, you’re a superstar – everyone loves you.  You’re a great teacher.  Our college really needs people like you.”

“Thank you very much.”

“What we’d like to do is hire you on full-time.  You can work from 8:30-5:30 Monday through Friday and we’ll pay you salary.  What do you think?”

“Well…um…that won’t work…because, as you know, I run two clinics.  So I’d still need to see my patients.  I could shut down one of my clinics but then I’d still need to run two days a week at one clinic.  Could we do 20 hours a week – just an idea?”

“But clinic is so up and down.  Plus, with our college pumping out more graduates, there will be more competition and it will be harder for you to make money.  A good salary job is the way to go.”

“Um…”

“We want someone young, energetic and you’ve got great marketing ideas.  We want someone to commit to our school and teach 50% of the time and do administration 50% of the time.  I don’t think it would work with just 20 hours a week.”

“But what about the executive director?  Isn’t this all his job?”

“Yes, but, you see, his contract is ending and in it we agreed that he get new programs up and running and that he get 25 new students every year.  He’s failed to do that so we just can’t afford to pay someone that amount of money so we’re going to have to get rid of him.”

(“Really?  So you’re going to sh*t-can my friend – the guy who got me this job – who you probably pay $100’000/year, hire me as his replacement, pay me less than his salary for more hours in a week than I work now and I’ll work on contract with you so you can shit-can me anytime you want as well?  Well then…”)

“I don’t think this is going to work…”

“Think about it.”

(“I will.  And next week, I’ll kindly decline your offer after I’ve made you sweat a bit.  I’m off to work at my unstable clinic which gives me more freedom than your boot on top of my face.”)

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4 Responses to “Bait and Switch – The Offer”

  1. Let me guess, this is a for-profit college?

    • ctkwingchun Says:

      Private Chinese medicine college (read: for-profit). They let their students write open-book exams and give them projects instead of quizzes. That is – until they met me.

      Plot thickens: my friend just got shit-canned yesterday afternoon unbeknownst to me because they told me he went home sick. Lies.

      • Excuse me, I must either failed elementary reading comprehension or am dyslexic. Anyway what do you mean until they met you?

      • ctkwingchun Says:

        No worries, bro. Here’s how it went down:

        Students: “For our upcoming exam, you’re going to do open-book, right?”

        Me: “What?!? What do you mean open book final exams?”

        Students: “For our entire first year we’ve had open book exams. Now in second year we expect open book exams.”

        Me: “Um…NO.”

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